One year ago today (at exactly 8:00 p.m.) we grew from a family of three to a family of four.
The night before I went into labor, I remember turning the lamp off and thinking, "I'm going to have this baby tomorrow." I then audibly laughed at the certainty I felt, all well knowing there was no way I would actually go into labor so soon.
July 25, I woke and felt
off. My whole back hurt but I had no "contractions." Kate kept telling me to call the doctor (hilarious if you know my sister, she could be
literally dying and would still resist calling, going, or even looking at a doctors office). My back hurt enough that I did call the doctor and they told me to come in to be checked.
Side note: when you are 36 or so weeks pregnant, you could call and say the mole 2 inches above your left elbow hurts and they would want you to come in to be checked.
Well, after being seen by one of the doctors, it was determined I was
not in labor and needed to go home and rest. Jay had stayed at home with Elle while I was gone. When I got home he left to go to a lunch appointment. I then called Kate in tears. I was in so. much. pain. There was no start or stop to the pain. I simply hurt all the time, but the intensity definitely was coming in waves. I did not exactly pick up on this, Kate did. I would be describing the pain to her, only to say I couldn't talk any more and violently hang up. I would call her right back and then this would repeat every 4-5 minutes. I believe her exact words were: "Call Jay
NOW! Go back to the hospital! I am going to be so so sooooo
ANGRY with you if you make me pack up my two kids, drive all the way down 280 to your house, have to force you in the car and take you myself!!! Stop being so stupid and stubborn and get to the hospital!!!" I'm not sure if it was the fear of my sister or logic that set in, but I called Jay who had made it to the restaurant parking lot and told him if I wasn't in labor something was very wrong and that we needed to go back to the hospital.
You know, in the movies and TV, labor definitely doesn't seem fun, but it seems a lot less intense than what I was experiencing. I attempted to pack some things but could barely walk. (FYI: My doctor had my due date wrong. I was technically due somewhere between Aug 3-9. It was July 25 and prior to this day I had not been dilated so I was vastly unprepared. With Elle I had been dilated 3 cm for 2 months so I figured I had lots of time to pack.) We loaded up in the car, met Mimi off of 280, practically threw Elle to her and Jay FLEW to the hospital. We made it up to the maternity floor and all the nurses looked at me contorting their faces. Once sweetly said, "oh sugar, you don't look good." Really?
Jay proceeded to tell
everyone "my wife is a strep B carrier and allergic to ceclor." I promise I heard him say this to
every single individual wearing scrubs that came in a 10 foot vicinity of me.
They admitted us to triage to assess whether or not I was indeed in labor and gain doctor admittance. At this point there was no doubt I was in labor. I was scared to pieces. Not of labor so much but of the fact that we didn't have a birth plan.
Another side note: Elle was breech. I had an unsuccessful version with her in which my 6' 2" doctor got on the table and pushed my belly with his elbows, while another doctor stood superman style pushing the other side. I then had a c-section. My scar tissue is weak and opened twice after having Elle. Because of this, Jay and I had not come to a decision we had peace with regarding whether or not we wanted to have another c-section or attempt a VBAC (natural birth). Again, we thought we had a couple of weeks to decide and unfortunately had not had time to discuss with my doctor what he suggested.
Nurse after nurse came in. Jay: "My wife is a strep B...." They could not admit me because all three doctors in my practice were in surgery. I then felt a wave of warmth. I decided it would be
funny to tell the nurses I had peed myself (sorry to be so crass). They laughed and said "oh honey, it happens all the time." I then got serious. No no, my water broke. "Uh huh sugams, I'm sure it feels that way, but it's nothing to be embarrassed about. Lots of women tinkle when they're this pregnant." No, no, no. I am positive my water broke. "Oh love buckets, it's okay." Please, can you check. I am serious. I am quite certain my water broke.
Enter new nurse.
Jay: "My wife is a strep B...."
She checked me, and guuush. Apparently Caroline's head dropped when my water broke. When the nurse checked me she pushed Caroline's head back allowing all the amniotic fluid to spill out. Again, sorry for being so graphic. At this point we still had not seen a doctor.
Kate kept texted to see what was going on. Next thing I know, she has called the practice, given them a piece of her mind, and magically Dr. Stone appeared. Thank you sister.
Finally they were wheeling me to a delivery room. Jay: "My wife is a strep B..." Me: "When can I get an epidural???"
At one point I started to see black and splotches of white. I told the nurse I felt like I was going to pass out. She kindly told me that was a.okay. If I passed out I would just wake up with the next contraction. They were unsure of what antibiotic to put me on due to my allergy and finally got me on a drip. For those of us that are strep B carriers, it is imperative that you are on an antibiotic drip for 4 hours while you are in labor. Otherwise, your baby is at risk of contracting the bacteria while passing through the birth canal. Strep B is similar to meningitis. It gets in baby's blood stream and can make them very very ill and if left untreated is often fatal.
Labor progressed quickly and after 3 1/2 hours of being on the drip Caroline was all but here. The last finale big push I gave nearly took me out. My nurse said, "look up and see your daughter!" I said, "mom, I need a bucket!" With that, my eyes beheld my precious daughter for the first time while I simultaneously threw up. Just like the movies.
At 8:00 p.m. our sweet Caroline entered the world.
We oohed and ahhed over our sweet new baby. She had so much hair!!! Every one kept asking me if I had indigestion. Apparently it is an old wives tale that if you have indigestion your baby will have lots of hair. To answer the question, yes, but only the last month when Caroline was playing with my esophagus and using it as a pillow.
That night around 2:00 a.m. our lovely night shift nurse woke me up and said that Caroline didn't look quite right so they were going to take her back to the neonatal intensive care unit, or NICU, to be checked out. I would see her in the morning.
Well, that morning came and they wanted to keep her for 24 hours to monitor. Meanwhile, Mimi calls and tells us that Elle has spiked a fever and she was taking her to our pediatrician. A couple of hours later, we find that Elle has strep throat. Mimi took care of her, but we would not be able to see Elle for a couple of days.
Sometime within the 24-36 hours proceeding Caroline's birth, Jay went to the house to get our non packed essentials and found that the house had been struck by lightning. We were down several appliances and most importantly had no air conditioning. We live in Alabama. It is the end of July. Brutal.
Also, during this time period I get a sore throat and my white blood cell count went up so I could not go see my new baby. I blame the raging hormones that come after you give birth, but either way, enter pity party.
After going through an entire box of tissues I resolved that I although I could care for neither of my children, and my husband was away trying to take care of said lightning damages, we were blessed and this too shall pass.
The following days blended together as one. Caroline was diagnosed with strep B and needed to stay for 7-10 days minimum. I found some residual tears and managed another good sob. We were discharged and left the hospital without our baby. I could not kiss her goodbye or promise I would see her soon. I felt horrible as we left the maternity wing, rounded the corner and found a bunch of very pregnant women on tour of the facilities. There I was leaving, puffy eyes and a hot mess, with no child. What an encouragement I am sure I was! It was in that moment that I realized how truly blessed we were to have 2 children. No, I couldn't hold them at the moment, but they were both being well cared for and loved. We stayed at mom and dad's who live considerably closer to the hospital than we do. I think it was only 3 days after Caroline was initially checked into the NICU that I was cleared to visit with her. Since Elle was sick, I could stay at the hospital guilt-free for as long as I needed. This meant I was up there all the time. I got to know the nurses and appreciate how hard their truly job is. I honestly do not know how they do what they do.
8 days later we got to bring our sweet Caroline home. Elle got to meet her and could not possibly in a million trillion years be more excited. It was a lovely sweet time to have our little family all together for the first time.
Today Caroline turns ONE and I am amazed at how fast the year has flown. She is a very sweet and chill child. She adores Elle and is constantly entertained by her. Caroline has brought out a nurturing side of Elle and it is (I cannot think of the word) amazing, beautiful, sweet to see their bond form and grow.
Our verse we pray for Caroline is Psalm 119:33-37
"Teach me, O Lord, the way of your statutes; and I will keep it to the end. Give me understanding, that I may keep your law and observe it with my whole heart. Lead me in the path of your commandments, for I delight in it. Incline my heart to your testimonies, and not to selfish gain! Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways."
